problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize