i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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