the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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