She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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