FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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