Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
