Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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