if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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