I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
