i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
