She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
