Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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