someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
well you can't waste a boner
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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