Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
