I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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