Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
