porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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