I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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