The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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