It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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