he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
