perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
