so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
