absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
