So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
