The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
