Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Randomize
