My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
