I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Randomize
