My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
