i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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