So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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