i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
