why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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