The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
