Non-Jews are for practice
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
3pm strippers are depressing
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
