I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
