Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
