I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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