R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
