You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
