just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize