listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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