Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize