how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
