i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
