I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
