i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
