I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
