My room smells like vodka and shame
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
