32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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