It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
