My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
