just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
