if i can run in heels then i can drive
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
