I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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