i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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