I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
