Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
