No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
