Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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