I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
