Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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