I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
